Chapter 1
Laila’s arms ached as she held the heavy M4A1 carbine in front of her. If she ever had to use this weapon, she’d be dead before she could lift it into firing position.
“What’re you waiting for, Burke?” Jase yelled from behind her. “Fire it at the target!”
She wanted to throw the weapon at her training agent. Instead, she gritted her teeth. Lifted it to her shoulder, the way Jase had shown her, and steadied it with her left hand. Pulled the trigger and stumbled backward as the recoil punched her shoulder and a volley of bullets flew toward the target thirty feet away.
She was pretty sure none of them hit the target.
Behind her, Jase sighed. He moved in behind her and wrapped his left arm around her waist. To hold her still? He curled his right arm around her shoulder to steady the gun with his hand. Just like the first time he’d done that, goosebumps erupted on Laila’s arms. She breathed deeply as chapter scent filled her head. His hard chest pressed against her back, and she wanted to lean into it.
Instead, she straightened her spine. Ignored Jase Conway’s effect on her. Jase was the last guy she’d get involved with, even though he was the hottest guy she’d ever met. He was bossy. Intimidating. Way too alpha. And she already knew he was completely ‘by the book’. A rule follower.
All traits on her ‘no fly’ list.
She drew in a deep breath. Blew it out slowly. Rules existed for a reason. They maintained order. But from her years as a teacher, she knew there were times when you had to ignore the rules if you wanted to get anything done.
“Try again.” Jase’s voice rumbled in her ear, and his breath ruffled the hair touching her neck. She shivered. Straightened her spine. No. She would not allow herself to beattracted to Jase Conway.
Pressing her lips together, she fired the weapon again. This time, most of the bullets hit the target. She stared at the holes in the paper target. If that target had been a person, he or she would be dead.
Setting the huge weapon on the ground, she turned to face Jase. “Look, Conway, I know I need weapons training, and I did damn well with the Glock 41.”
He nodded once, as if reluctant to give her credit for her skill with a handgun. “You did, which is a good thing, since that’s the weapon you’ll take to the village. But you need to work on using the M4A1, as well.”
“But I’m a teacher,” she said, frowning at him. “Why would I ever need this kind of weapon? And where would I even get one?”
He clenched his teeth together. He must be sick of arguing with her. “You have no idea what might happen in whatever village you end up in. What you might face. CIA agents need to be prepared for any eventuality.” He sighed. “It’s unlikely you’d ever need to handle a weapon like this. You won’t have access to one, and even if you did, you don’t have the upper body strength to hold it and fire it. Which is what we’ll work on after we finish this session at the gun range. But, even though it’s unlikely, you need to know how to use one. How to hold it and fire it. Break it down, clean it and put it back together.
“I’m going to stand behind you and support the gun for you until you’re comfortable firing it.”
God help her. She had to stand here, beneath the broiling desert sun, with Jase pressed close? Between the desert temperatures and the heat generated when their bodies came in contact, she’d end up with heat stroke.
Or worse, she’d enjoy the contact between their bodies.
Without looking at him, she nodded once and drew a deep breath.
His arm hovered over hers for a long moment, and he finally moved closer. Every nerve in her body tingled as she waited for him to press his chest against her back.
She swallowed hard as she waited for that contact. And it was impossible to miss his tiny, sharp inhale when their bodies came into contact.
God! Was it possible he felt this… this pull of attraction, as well? Her body reacted as if she were iron and he was a magnet. She was drawn to him involuntarily, as if she had no choice. She’d never felt this magnetism with a guy. Never felt this craving to press closer, to lean into him and touch. Explore. Take.
She squared her shoulders and vowed to get through this mandatory training as quickly as possible. Then she could go to her assignment and forget all about Jase Conway and her body’s disturbing reaction to him.
She’d keep her hands to herself, and once she was finished with this portion of her training, she’d never need to see Jase Conway again.
Ignoring the fire that rushed through her blood at Jase’s touch, ignoring the way her body reacted to him, she adjusted her grip on the gun. Forced herself to ask him for help. “What am I doing wrong? How can I manage this gun, since I’m lacking your upper body strength?”
“I don’t expect you to be built like me,” he said gruffly. “That would be a damn shame.” She heard the click as he clamped his teeth together, as if he regretted letting the words escape. After a long moment, he said, “We’ll spend some time in the gym working on arm strength. That will help. For now, you just need to get used to the feel of the weapon in your hands and the recoil when you fire it.”
She nodded once. “Okay. Let’s do this.” She didn’t add ‘even though I’ll never have to use this skill’.
“Good. You’ve got grit, Laila. And you’re a smart woman. You’ll figure this out.”
Her body wanted to figure out a lot of things with Jase. But she tightened her grip on the gun, waited for Jase to steady it, and fired it at the target.
And if she let herself lean back into Jase, it was only to brace herself for the recoil.
Three hours later in the gym, muscles aching and sweat pouring down her back, she set the hand weights carefully in their rack and stepped away. “Are we done for the day?” she asked Jase.
He studied her for a moment, and she thought his lips twitched. As if he were laughing at her. “Yeah, we’re done,” he finally said. “Unless you want to work on something else?”
“No, I’m good,” she said. She stood straight and hoped she looked cool and calm instead of like a limp, wet dishrag. “Same time tomorrow?”
“Yeah. I’ll meet you at the gun range at seven a.m. To avoid the heat,” Jase said.
“Got it,” she said.
As she trudged toward the locker room, she thought she heard him mutter, “I know you do.”
Without looking back at him, she stepped into the locker room, let the door close behind her and collapsed onto one of the benches. Every single part of her body ached. Even her hair hurt.
She staggered to her feet, tottered toward the drinking fountain and gulped down water. Then she stripped, leaving her clothes in a sodden, dirty pile on the floor and stepped into a shower stall.
She’d thought she was in decent shape. Before joining the CIA, she’d run every day. Worked out at a gym. But the routine Jase had put her through made her previous workouts feel like child’s play.
And they were just getting started.
* * *
Jase stepped into the small mess hall at the U.S. embassy in Kabul, filled his tray with food then stopped and studied the room. Laila wasn’t here, thank God.
Today had been excruciating. And it was only the first day of her training.
He wasn’t sure he’d survive the next month.
He’d shaken her hand after Mel introduced them, and a fist of need had punched him in the chest. Desire had roared through him like a tank, crushing everything in its path. Common sense. Control. Every rule about trainer-trainee relationships that had been pounded into him.
Nothing mattered except touching the stunning, red-haired woman standing in front of him.
He’d managed to shake her hand normally, but every cell in his body screamed at him to touch her again. Wrap her in his arms and hold her tight.
For a guy who was never interested in anything more than a one-night stand, his reaction to the woman he had to train was disturbing. Unsettling.
God-damned terrifying.
Today, their first day training together, had been hell. He’d had to touch her constantly. Press his chest into her back as he steadied the heavy M4A1. Curl her fingers around the heavy weapon to show her how to hold it. Wrap his arms around her to brace her for the recoil when she fired.
And then they’d hit the gym.
The scent of her body warming with the heat of exertion had driven him mad. Watching her muscles flex and release had made him tense with the need to kiss every inch of her fit body. And the way she drew her lower lip into her mouth when she concentrated? He’d wanted to taste that lip, tease it with his tongue, more than he’d ever wanted to fuck another woman.
Thank God she wasn’t in the mess hall. He needed to stay as far away as possible from Laila Burke when he wasn’t training her. But he was afraid his body would lead him straight to her.
He spotted Cody Parker sitting alone and zeroed in on him as he crossed the room. Cody was one of his best friends on the CIA SpecOps team. He could tell Parker about his off-the-charts reaction to Laila Burke, and Cody wouldn’t judge him. He’d sympathize. Tell him to pull his head out of his ass and focus on his job.
Setting his tray on the table across from Cody, Jase slid into his seat. “Parker,” he said. “Thank God you’re here.”
Cody looked up at him, a piece of pork chop speared on his fork. “What’s up, Burke?”
Jase shook his head. “I got a new agent to train today,” he said.
Cody grimaced in sympathy. “An idiot? Or one of those guys who thinks he knows everything already?”
“Worse,” Jase said, stabbing a fork into his own pork chop. “A woman. She’s a teacher. Going to one of the villages somewhere up north.”
Cody swallowed. “I sure as hell wouldn’t mind training a woman.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Nice change from the stupid, stinking men I’ve had lately.”
“She’s definitely not smelly.” The memory of her scent almost had him hard. “She’s gorgeous. Smart. Works hard. Only thing she whined about was having to master the M4A1.” He sighed. “Pretty much the ideal trainee.”
Cody frowned. “Then what the hell’s your problem?”
Jase shoveled his fork into a pile of green beans. “The fact that she’s gorgeous, smart and works hard. I shook her hand and practically short-circuited. All I could think about was fucking her.”
Cody shrugged. “So do something about it.”
“I’m her training agent, dumb shit. It’s against every rule to get involved with someone who’s under your command. You know that as well as I do.”
Cody watched him for a moment, his mouth curling on one side. “Then wait until you’re done training her. Ask her out for a beer. See what develops.”
“Once she’s done training, she’ll be gone.”
“Then take her out to celebrate on her last day.” He raised one eyebrow. “Sounds like she’s right up your alley, Mr. One Night Stand.”
That was the problem. He wasn’t sure one night with Laila would be even close to enough. And he never violated his one-time-only rule.
Jase shoved his plate away from him. “The day I finish training her isn’t the problem. It’s getting through the next month without making a major mistake.”
“You want me to take her off your hands?” Cody grinned. “I’d be happy to help you out. You can work with my smart-ass know-it-all. He needs to be taken down a few pegs, and you’re just the man to do it.”
Jase snorted. “Mel would never go for that. She told me she’d picked me specifically to be Laila’s trainer. Said she thought we’d work well together.”
They sure as hell would work well together in bed. He’d never understood what people meant when they talked about ‘chemistry’ with their partners. Now he did. It was like a sledgehammer to the chest. Overwhelming need. And he was pretty sure Laila had noticed it, too.
He’d felt her tense when his chest touched her back. Saw her hand tremble when he’d positioned it on the heavy weapon. Heard her tiny gasp when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Her eyes had been dilated, as well. Even in the bright desert light.
Yeah, Laila Burke had been interested in him, too. And from her reaction, she’d been just as horrified by it.
It was going to be a hot, hellish month.
* * *
Three weeks later, standing under the blazing sun at the gun range, Laila gritted her teeth. Set the heavy M4A1 gun carefully on the ground and turned to face Jase behind her. “This is ridiculous,” she said. “I can handle this gun. I’m strong enough, thanks to you,” she said, knowing she sounded bitchy instead of grateful. “I’ll be able to fire it and hit whatever or whoever I’m aiming at. But we both know that I’ll never see another one of these guns.”
She nodded at the Glock she’d been outfitted with, sitting on a bale of straw behind her. “I should practice more with that one. I’ll have that gun with me every day. I’m not likely to need it, but the odds of me using it are twenty times the odds of me using that thing.” She nodded at the gun on the ground. “So why are we focusing on the M4A1 instead of the Glock?”
Jase drew in a deep breath, and Laila understood why. They’d had this argument every day for the past week.
“You need a certain number of hours practicing with the carbine,” he said, his voice a little louder than usual. Maybe because she brought this up every day.
“Regulations are very specific about that.,” he continued. “I’m keeping track of your training times, and we haven’t reached the stopping point with the big gun.”
“When will I ever even see one, once I leave Kabul?” she asked.
“I have no idea. But training rules exist for a reason. You have no way of knowing what’s going to happen once you’re in the field. You need to be proficient with both weapons. Just in case.”
She frowned as she studied them. “Yeah, I get that. I know that’s the rule. But doesn’t it make sense to spend extra time on the weapon I’m more likely to use?”
“If you have to use either weapon, you’re already in trouble,” he said. “I know you like to improvise. Think outside the box. Those are valuable skills for an agent in the field. But you need to have the basics down pat first.”
“Then how do you manage in the field?” she shot back at him. “You’re completely by-the-book. All about following the rules to the letter. What happens when things don’t go perfectly?”
“I can improvise when I need to,” he said, his voice hard. “And these training exercises aren’t about me. They’re about getting you ready for insertion in that village.”
“Where I won’t have an M1A4 weapon,” she shot back.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked. “We have less than a week to go,” he said. “Let’s just try to get through these last days without arguing about procedures that aren’t going to change.”
Laila took a deep breath. “Yeah. Less than a week. I can do that. Can you?”
“I can. Then we go our separate ways and we’ll never see each other again.”
She tilted her head, studying him. “Are you even a little sad about that?”
“I’m doing my job, Laila,” he said. “That’s it. In four days, I’ll say goodbye to you. You’ll leave for Al Kamen. And you’ll be as ready as I can make you.”
She nodded once. That chemistry she’d noticed the first day was still there, humming between them. It had gotten stronger the longer they’d worked together, but she’d never mentioned it. Neither had he.
It wasn’t like this… this whatever it was with Jase Conway was unique. Sometime, when her stint with the CIA was over, she’d meet another man. Feel the same pull she felt with Jase. And she’d be free to explore it. The ping of disappointment took her by surprise. Somehow, that knowledge wasn’t very appealing.
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